I wholeheartedly believe that showing someone you love them means a million times more than saying you love them.
I’ve found, in the long-term relationships I have had, that once the honeymoon period is over things can eventually turn a bit stale. You’re comfortable. They’re your best friend. Which is great! But romance is, well, a bit dead. There is no doubt you love your partner, however over time you start to forget to express your love. I mean, they know you love them anyway right? But wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could remind them? And have them remind you? Each and every day?
This is what makes relationships last. These little gestures. The tiny bit of effort put in each day to make your partner feel loved. Because you do love them. So let’s just make absolutely sure they know it! And then reap the benefits of a happier, healthier relationship.
I have come up with 20 ways to express your love that will suit all types of relationships and personalities. Pick your favourites and start expressing your love in new and exciting ways!
⦁ Listen. And I mean really listen and respond so that he knows you are listening. Sometimes my partner talks to me about fish (his hobby) and I just zone out. Instead of responding appropriately I change the subject all together. “So, I was thinking chicken for dinner?” We all zone out sometimes, but actively try not to. Listening will validate him and make him feel what he has to say is important to you.
⦁ Kiss him goodbye. It only takes a second. But that small, affectionate gesture ensures there is always some physical intimacy between you every time you see each other.
⦁ Text him when you’re apart. Not for any reason other than to let him know you’re thinking of him.
⦁ Compliment them, to other people! Tell others how wonderful they are. I had a terrible habit of only moaning about my partner to my friends and family. It really caused friction between them and my partner in the end. From now on I only talk about his amazing parenting or how funny he is etc. It had a hugely positive impact on our relationship when I changed.
⦁ Take them on a date. Plan something intimate that gives you time to talk. It doesn’t have to cost a lot and you don’t even have to leave the house. A candlelit picnic in the lounge would be perfect! Just make them feel special and know that you really enjoy their company.
⦁ Write them a love letter. Write about all the things you forget to say. Write about how much you appreciate them and why. Write about your dreams for the two of you in the future. Write about whatever you like, but write it from the heart.
⦁ Ask for their opinion. Whether you’re choosing a new dress, deciding what cake to bake for your friend or which book you want to read next. Just make them feel valued by asking for their opinion on things that matter to you.
⦁ Reminisce. My partner has an amazing memory, (unlike me.) Nothing makes me feel quite as special as when he tells me what I was wearing the first day we met. Or about a funny thing I did years ago. It’s a lovely way of connecting with your partner. Just looking back, together, over the good times you’ve had.
⦁ Give them a massage. I love this one and my partner and I do it often! Whether it’s a full back massage or just a foot rub whilst we’re catching up on our favourite tv show. It’s an intimate touch and it feels so good! I use These massage candles by Lovehoney.
⦁ Greet them when you see them. And I don’t mean a ‘hi’ and then carry on with what you were doing. Ask them how their day was, give them a kiss. Stop what you were doing and spend 5 minutes focusing on them. Make it obvious that you are glad to see them.
⦁ Trust them. Most of you probably do anyway. But if you get insecure when your partner goes out with friends or has to work late, try not to. It’s offensive to not be trusted, especially when you don’t deserve it. If they’re going to break your trust they will do it whether you have shown your distrust or not. So just have faith in them and show it.
⦁ Put your phone down. If you’re anything like me you may have a stronger relationship with your phone then your partner. When your spending time together, keep your phone out of your hands.
⦁ Randomly touch him. Stroke his back, squeeze his butt, brush your fingers through his hair. Whether your passing him in the kitchen, sat at the dining table or getting into bed, take the opportunity to express your love for them.
⦁ Be sympathetic. When my partner tells me he’s had a hard day at work I’m often tempted to match it with the hard day I’ve had. But that doesn’t make him feel any better. So listen, sympathize and ask if there is anything you can do for him instead.
⦁ Notice the good things he does. Even if they are things he does every day. Even if they are tiny things. Notice and comment on them. Whether it’s taking out the rubbish or covering you with a blanket when you fall asleep on the sofa. Let him know you appreciate him and the things he does at least once a day.
⦁ Encourage him to have time for himself. If he mentions wanting to join a gym or start going fishing with a friend. Encourage and support him. Even if it means you will see him less. Even if it means you will have to take up some of his responsibilities. Do it because you love him and want to see him happy.
⦁ When you hug, keep going until they pull away. And then pull them back again.
⦁ There are always a few songs that remind me of my partner. I used to cringe at the thought of him knowing that the soppy lyrics brought him to mind. But now I show him the song and I make sure he knows it represents how I feel. Sometimes the singers say it better than I ever could.
⦁ Get them a thoughtful gift. It really doesn’t have to cost a lot. For instance, my partner and I loved a movie based on a true story. So I bought him the book. He never reads but he loved it so much he read it in 2 days! It’s definitely all about the thought.
⦁ Add hearts to your life. Give him a cappuccino with a sprinkled love heart. Or a slice of toast in the shape of a heart. Or just write one into the steam on the bathroom mirror. It’s a silly little way to express your love, but means a lot.
If you have read this you have already done something that proves how much you love your partner. Hopefully in implementing a few of these things you can really show him just how much he means to you. I’m also positive that you will start getting loving gestures returned as well!
Which things are you going to implement into your relationship to express your love for your partner? And what gestures make you feel loved? I’d love to hear some more ideas!